Me: Hey, I saw the poster for New Moon today, but I don't understand. I thought Bella was with Edward? On the poster she is hugged up to some other guy and Edward has his back to them.
DD: That's Jacob. He's a werewolf.
Me: What? She leaves Edward for a werewolf?
DD: No, actually Edward left her.
Me: ???
DD: Yeah, well he thought she would be better off without him. So he just disappeared.
Me: He just left town?
DD: Yeah. His whole family did.
Me: Why did his entire family leave?
DD: Well, one of the other vampires went crazy when Bella got a paper cut, so they thought it would be better if they all left.
Me: So she managed to find a werewolf for her next boyfriend?
DD: Well, he wasn't a werewolf when she met him.
Me: He became a werewolf?
DD: Yeah. Bella had known him since they were kids.
Me: What the hell is going on in Oregon?
DD: Washington.
Me: Whatever. What is up with Bella that she attracts all these supernatural beings? First a vampire, then a werewolf? I mean, really, what are the odds? Are we going to find out in the end that Bella was really a troll or something?
At this point, my daughter just gave up and left me.
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