Dear Office Depot,

I went into your lovely establishment today to buy a box of envelopes. I was paying with cash. Seems simple, yes?

Cashier: Hi! Are you purchasing these for business or personal use?

Me: Uh, personal?

Cashier: What is your zip code?

Me: You need my zip code?

Cashier: Yes.

Me: (gives zip code, like a good little monkey)

Cashier: Ok, what is your phone number?

Me: (sigh) (gives phone number)

Cashier: Do you have one of our Rewards cards? You can save..

Me: (interrupting) NO.

Cashier rings up purchase.

Me: (because I just can't help myself) Why do I have to give you all of that information just to buy a box of envelopes?

Cashier: I'm sorry, but our registers won't even ring up a purchase unless we ask all of that.


So, Office Depot, even though you are convenient for me, I will be finding another place to fill my various and sundry office supply needs. You are simply too damn nosy.

Yours affectionately,